how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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