and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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