I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
home. puking in laundry basket.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
