love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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