he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
