i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
