The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
