i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
