I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
