i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
