I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize