You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
this boner is exhausting
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
