I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
