I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize