Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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