At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
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