Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
oh god was she eating orange peels again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
It was a blind-side dick pic.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize