mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm really into asian looking animals
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
