Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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