So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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