took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
