Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize
