so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
