...so i touched it.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Boobs speak an international language.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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