So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
