Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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