so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
