none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
