I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
