man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
