Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
