it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
