Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
