Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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