Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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