C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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