This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
