is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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