Need sex. Gaining weight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
