idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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