Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
