RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
should my penis look like a turkey
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
