I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize