she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
