Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize