FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
