Do you still have your period?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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