He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
