And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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