my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
