I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
