I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
