So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
