I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
