I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i will never coherently bang her
no. you can't hotbox the world.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
