Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
