this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
