She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize