IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
