Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
