Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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