Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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