I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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