I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
