that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
