Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
