can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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