well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize